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Yew mite be a Diskrick Redneck if’n y’all have t’local taxidermist’s number on speed dial.”

A1: T' steries y'all neet ta read befor yer furst conference call.

John Kerry made his'n furst trip as secretree o'state ta t' Kurdish regyunal capital o'Erbil Tuesdee, whar he met wit Kurdish Presdint Masoud Barzani. Barzani sed Kerry faces un big challenge a'trine ta hep form a new Iraqi gummint, addyun', “We air faseeun' a new reelitee an' a new Iraq.” (New York Times)

– New Jersy Gov. Chris Christie (R) may have a new bridge hedake ta deel wit. Investigatyuns into t'Christie administrashun an' t'Port Autheritee o'New York an' New Jersy– promptid by t'Geerge Washington Bridge lane closures — have focussd un possibull securitees law violatyuns relatid ta a 2011 road repair agreement. At issue is t'Pulaski Skyway. T' Munhattun districk atterney an' t'Securitees an' Exchange Commission air a'lookin into t'matt'r. (New York Times)

– Trayler Speek'r John Boehn'r (R-Ohio) is givin mer thun $1 million ta t'Trayler GOP campaign fund thishere week, a sign at he is a'lookin ta reinferce his'n pow'r an' is nairy larnin toward retirement. (USA Today)

– It’s anoth'r big primree day. Here air t'fife biggest thangs ta watch: Who will win t'Cochrun-McDaniel runoff? Will we see a runoff n' t'Oklahoma Senate race? Will Rep. Charlie Rangel (D-N.Y.) survif'? Is anoth'r Canter-style onry n' t'offyun'? Don’t fergit t'governer’s races n' Marylan' an' Koloradie. (Washington Post)

Frunt Pages: WaPo an' NYT each lead wit Iraq steries an' t'SCOTUS emissyuns deecishun. USA Today fronts its Boehn'r’s fundraisyun' stery. WSJ highlights a stery about officials faseeun' scrutiny at t'Expert-Impert Bank.

Nashshunal Roundup: Whut’s happenin outside t'Beltway.

WH’16: — Ferm'r secretree o'state Hillree Rodham Clintun will be paid $225,000 ta speek at un Oct. 13 fundrais'r fer t'Univesty o'Nevada at Las Vegas. (Las Vegas Revu-Jurnl). As tenchun un hern weelth is rampyun' up, look fer Republikuns ta point ta t'stery nuff o'times. Meenwhile, n' un interview wit t'Denv'r Post, Bill Clintun chimet n' un sum o'whut Hillree Clintun is weighyun' wit regard ta 2016. “I reckon whut she feels is at it’s way too direckly fer all o'us ta be politicizyun' everthang, an' she jes wonts ta make shure — an' also, I meun, she’s quite well aware at thar air no guarantees n' thishere. Whoev'r y'all air, y'all’ve gut ta run like y'all nev'r run befor an' y'all’re 50 points behin.” (Denv'r Post)

– New Hampshire: Mitt Romnee will enderse ferm'r Massachusetts senater Scott Brown (R) n' hid bid ta unseet Se. Jeenne Shahee (D-N.H.). (CNN)

– West Virginny: Se. Elizabeth Warre (D-Mass.) will campaign fer Secretree o'State Natalie Tennant (D), t'Demokratic nominee fer U.S. Senate. Warre will stump fer Tennant un Julee 14 as she unveils un skoolin plun. (Charleston Gazette)  Warre has alreddy announcet plans ta stump fer Secretree o'State Alisen Lundergun Grimes (D) n' Kantucky an' has hepped raise money fer Geergia’s Demokratic Senate nominee, Michelle Nunn.

Louisyina: Gov. Bobby Jindal (R) wonts ta do away wit Common Core educatyunal stan'ards, but he’s faseeun' resistance. T' Louisyina Board o'Regants tole college an' univesty leeders Mundie at Common Core stan'ards should be includet n' teechur tranen. (Baton Rouge Advocate)

– Missussippy: A staff'r fer Se. Thad Cochrun (R) wuz arrestid an' firet fer allegedlee destroyyun' er removyun' campaign signs suppertyun' state Se. Chris McDaniel (R). (Jacksen Clarion-Ledg'r)

– Wiskunsin: Se. Ron Johnsen (R) sed n' un interview un CNBC at he’s “a purty tradityunal guy” an' thinks “marriage is tween a mun an' a woomin.” But if'n voters “deecide at thay want gay marriage, I’m nairy goin ta oppose it.” (Milwaukee Jurnl Santinel)

DC Digest: Whut’s un tap today n' DC.

Presdint Obamie will meet wit t'2013 Presidants Cup team — a colleckshun o't' kuntry’s top golfers — n' t'evnin. (Washington Post)

Vice Presdint Bide will attend a DCCC event n' t'monin' at is closet ta t'press. At 7 p.m., he will host a recepshun at t'Naval Observatery fer members o't' LGBT Communitee.

T' Trayler will gath'r at 10 a.m. It will cunsidder t' Custom'r Perteckshun an' End Us'r Relief Ack, t' Nerth Amurkin Energy Infrastructure Ack an' t' Domestic Prosperitee an' Global Freedum Ack.  T' Committee un Oversiite an' Gummint Referm will hold t'sekunt part o'its herin, “IRS Obstrucshun: Lois L'rn'r’s Missyun' E-Mails,” at 9:30 a.m.

T' Senate will gath'r at 10 a.m. It will hold roll call confirmashun votes un fer judicial nominees. Acoupla air fer Unitid States Districk judge fer t'Middle Districk o'Flerida: Paul G. Byron an' Carlos Eduardo Mendoza. Beth Bloom is fer t'Suthern Districk o'Flerida. Geoffery W. Crawferd is fer t'Districk o'Vermont.

TV Time Out: Air exclusif' look at who’s advertisyun', an' whar.

– T' air war n' t'Republicun primree fer governer o'Airazonia is heetyun' up. Ferm'r GoDaddy executif' Christine Jones (R) has bouite neerly $150,000 un broadcas an' cabull TV fer t'nex week. Treesur'r Doug Ducey (R) has bouite about $130,000 ov'r t'nex week, also un broadcas an' cabull.

– Koloradie Gov. John Hickenloop'r (D) bouite about $500,000 mer n' fall TV air time, brangin his'n total ta nearlee $1.4 million. Hickenloop'r has a big fundraisyun' advantage ov'r his'n GOP opponants. T' Republicun at is nominatid today will have ta play sum seriyus catch-up. (Denv'r Post)

– A trio o'environmantal groups is launchyun' neerly $1 million effurt agin state Se. Joni Ernst (R) n' t'Iowa Senate race. T' effurt kix off wit un ad tyyun' Ernst ta Sarah Palin an' t'Koch Bruthers. 

– T' Republicun Governers Associashun is launchyun' a Spanish-langwage ad n' New Maxico hittyun' Demokratic gubernaterial nominee an' Atterney Genrull Gree Kyun'.

T' Buriet Lede: T' nuggets at deserve t'spotliite.

– T' Senate Judiciree Committee will take up a meesure thishere week ta make cell-phone unlockyun' legal. T' Trayler has alreddy passet a bill at would legalize it. (Nashshunal Jurnl)

B1: Bizness, politics an' t'bizness o'politics

– It has nairy bee a good week fer t'Expert-Impert Bank. Furst, onetime suppert'r Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) sed he noe bax lettyun' t'agency expire. Noe kums wurd at t'bank has suspendet er gotte rid o'fer officials n' resent munths amid allegatyuns o'gifts an' kickbax. (Wall Street Jurnl) Okay, it wasn’t all bad noose: 41 lawmakers urget Bohen'r ta reeutherize t'bank. (T' Hill)

Se. Bob Casey (D-Pa.) wonts FIFA ta take t'2022 Worl Cup away frum Qatar. He citid substan'ard laber practices an' allegatyuns o'cerrupshun. So if'n nairy Qatar, the whar? Casey sed t'U.S. is reddy ta play host. (Washington PostRoll Call)

C1: T' long reeds y'all’ll neet ta check out befor toniite’s cocktail partee.

– Un t'same day las month, pilots lan'yun' at acoupla differnt airperts repertid seein small rogue drones fleeyun' at high altitudes. Craig Whitlock writes: “T' close calls wuz t'latest n' a rash o'dangeryus encounters tween civiliun airplanes an' drones flown n' contravenshun o'FAA rules intendet ta safeguard U.S. airspace. Hazardyus occurrences air a'gettin mer frekwent as mer drones — legal an' illegal — take ta t'skies…” (Washington Post)

C4: T' comics page, fun thangs ta read wen y'all’re beret at wurk

– If'n y'all lackd Rangel’s campaign rap encouragyun' voters ta suppert 'im, y'all’ll luv “Charlie Wilsen fer Congress,” “T' Ballad o'Mark Warn'r,” “Big John” an' “Game Un.” (Washington Post)

Attn Matt Drudge: Thangs conservatives will git outraget by today.

– T' Californy state Senate sined off un a meesure urgyun' Congress ta call a Constitutyunal Convenshun an' overturn t'Supreme Court’s “Citizens Unitid” deecishun. (Los Angeles Times)

Attn HuffPo: Whut outrages liberals today

– Republicun Pedro Celis, who is challengyun' Rep. Suzun DelBene (D-Warsh.), weighet n' un gay marriage las week, a'sayn't, “marriage is sumthin mer fer relijun ta deecide. Is thishere marriage er nairy? Poleegamy – is it fine er nairy? It’s a relijun thang.” (Seettle Times)

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